Nearly Divorced to Restored: Our Catholic Marriage Restoration Story

A Catholic couple’s story of suffering, surrender, and saying yes: how God rebuilt our marriage on solid rock, and what we learned along the way

“Therefore, if any one is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, behold, the new has come.” — 2 Corinthians 5:17

When I first met my husband, something deep within me said, “This man is the one.” The one I would say “yes” to. The one I would build a family with, a life with, and dream big with.

If you’re anything like me, you tend to idealize what your life will look like, or maybe even daydream about the way it should be or could be.

On November 8, Anthony and I celebrated 12 years of marriage. And if you had told me five years in where we’d be today, I wouldn’t have believed you. This is our Catholic marriage restoration story.

When Our Marriage Nearly Ended

When Anthony and I nearly divorced five years into our marriage (yup, you read that right, like called-an-attorney kind of close), we never could have imagined being where we are today. Five kids in tow, a new-but-very-old home in a cute small town, and our little hobby farm: 2 cats, 19 chickens, a rabbit we recently adopted, and a new puppy too. Puppy training is HARD!

But it’s not as hard as restoring a marriage. Letting God break it (and you) apart, all the way down to smithereens. We didn’t just start over. We were remade, replanted even, if you will. I never imagined we’d have two more children after the collapse, let alone run a Catholic ministry helping individuals and couples heal, on top of our already very full lives.

But this is the “overflow.” The abundance we always talk about. It’s what happens when you can’t contain the goodness of God.

“I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.” — John 10:10

Anthony and I recently attended a Called by the Spirit seminar in our diocese, and we were reminded of how far God has brought us. One of the videos featured renowned National Geographic photographer DeWitt Jones, and he said something that struck me:

There is more than one right answer.

He talks about reframing obstacles into opportunities. Looking back, that’s exactly what Anthony and I did when we chose to fight for our marriage and not give up, even when it seemed all hope was lost.

What obstacles are you facing that the Lord might be asking you to reframe? It may be an invitation to go deeper and to renew or restore parts of your story.

Can Suffering Bear Fruit in Marriage?

I know you can relate when I say I have suffered in this life. In our marriage alone, we’ve walked through tremendous grief, betrayal, and trial. But on the other side of those dark seasons was something you can’t get any other way: fruit. Fruit from the refining, fruit from the restoration, and fruit from obedience and docility to God in ALL things, big or small.

Pope Benedict XVI put it beautifully in his encyclical on hope:

“It is not by sidestepping or fleeing from suffering that we are healed, but rather by our capacity for accepting it, maturing through it and finding meaning through union with Christ, who suffered with infinite love.” — Spe Salvi, 37

After all these years of learning to walk with Jesus in an intimate and real way, I wouldn’t trade any amount of suffering for the glory and goodness He has revealed to me.

Does that mean it’s been easy or pleasant? Nope. But the scars are evidence of a battle fought well, with all my might, and with love.

If you’ve walked through fire, I see you, and you aren’t alone. We’ve endured a great deal in our short 12 years: miscarriage, addiction, trauma recovery, parental divorce, loss of family, and nearly divorcing five years in.

But one thing was constant through all of it:

God.

…and our beautiful children. 🤍

If betrayal is part of your story, our Catholic guide to healing from betrayal trauma walks through the signs, what the Church teaches, and how healing begins.

Saying Yes to Life After a Marriage Crisis

Even in the trials, we stayed open to God’s grace and blessings. We welcomed one baby, then two, then three (can you guess the pattern? hehe).

And even after nearly collapsing, we said yes to God again shortly after completing our Retrouvaille weekend, and ended up with four little ladies in a row! Then, in 2024, God blessed us with a son.

All the while, our marriage was being rebuilt on solid rock. The foundation was torn apart, the cracks were filled in, and the construction cones went up as a barrier, so we had the space and time to actually heal. It took years of showing up bold and brave, and learning that grace is most present when we surrender our imperfect will to His perfect one.

It was messy, it was grueling, and it was also the best thing we ever did.

“Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on rock.” — Matthew 7:24

So here we are, celebrating 12 years of saying yes. Yes to the call to become one, which is impossible without God. Yes to “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.” We’ve learned that sickness isn’t limited to the body. It touches the spirit too.

We’ve walked away with treasures from years of recovery and beginning again. From saying yes when it didn’t feel good or come easy. And from letting God keep refining us into the new creation He calls us to be.

So if you’ve said “I do,” remember this: you first said “I do” to God, and even the smallest yes can produce the mightiest fruit!

Lessons From a Restored Catholic Marriage

Here’s what we want to pass on to you:

1. God does give us more than we can handle. That’s why He sent His Son. We can’t do it alone.
2. Setting boundaries to heal is necessary and healthy, even when others misunderstand.
3. True charity starts with recognizing your own dignity. Loving someone never means abandoning yourself. We give from the overflow, not the other way around.
4. Marriage heals, and it points us home. The Church names Reconciliation and Anointing of the Sick as the sacraments of healing, but I firmly believe marriage heals us too, because it’s meant to get us to heaven. Marriage on earth is a foretaste of the wedding feast to come, and we’re already invited!
5. Jesus is our true Bridegroom, and we can be espoused to Him even in our current vocations.
6. You can hold joy and sorrow hand in hand. When life doesn’t go as planned, it’s okay to befriend disappointment and grief, and to let acceptance become your friend too.
7. Keep God at the center. Without a personal relationship with Jesus, we can end up idolizing even the best things, like marriage and family.
8. Openness and obedience bear fruit. When we stay open to God and say yes, even when it’s hard or doesn’t make sense, He multiplies it beyond what we could imagine.
9. When we pick up our cross daily and unite it with Christ, He shares His resurrected life with us.

Is Catholic Marriage Restoration Possible for You?

If you’re reading this from the middle of your own collapse, please hear this: your story isn’t over. We had called an attorney, and God was already writing a different ending. Healing didn’t come overnight, and it didn’t come without help. It took counseling, community, the sacraments, and a lot of humble yeses. But it came. You don’t have to figure it all out today. You just have to take the next small step.

Resources for the Journey

• Retrouvaille: a Catholic-rooted program for couples in struggling or broken marriages. It was a turning point for us.
• Healing the Whole Person from the John Paul II Healing Center: retreats that help you encounter the Father’s love in your deepest wounds. They also offer the Unveiled retreat for married couples.
• Couples mentorship: Anthony and I walk with couples in crisis and in recovery. More on that below.
• Inner Healing Ministry: free prayer sessions through The Abundant Catholic, a gentle starting place for healing.
• The Abundant Catholic Podcast: conversations on Catholic living, inner healing, marriage, and family.
• How to Heal From Betrayal Trauma: A Catholic Guide
• Our full testimony ebook: He Makes A Way.

Looking for someone to walk with you?

Anthony and I offer mentorship for individuals and couples who are ready to take the next step toward healing and restoration. Whether your marriage is struggling or you simply want to go deeper, we’d be honored to walk with you.

A Prayer for Your Marriage

Lord Jesus, You know every crack in the foundation of our marriage, every wound we carry, and every word we wish we could take back. We invite You into the places we’ve tried to hide. Tear down what isn’t of You, and rebuild us on the rock of Your love. Give us the courage to say yes to You, even when it’s hard, and the grace to keep choosing each other. Bring fruit from our suffering, and let our marriage become a sign of Your faithfulness. You make all things new. Make us new. Amen.

Reclaim & restore who you are made to be!

Looking for someone to walk with you on the journey to freedom?

Our mentorship services offer accompaniment in the journey to deeper freedom and restoration. Whether it’s just you, or you and your loved one—we are here to facilitate a deepening of faith and healing through Christ so that you can live the abundant life you were made for!

No pressure. Just presence.

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