How to Have a Real Relationship with God
Having a personal relationship with God & 3 steps to take today
Maybe you are asking, how can I have a closer, more personal relationship with God? What does having an intimate relationship with God mean? How can I hear God speak to me and discern the voice of God? How can I have a stronger prayer life?
The word communion is used by Augustine, in belief that the word was derived from com- “with, together” and unus– meaning “oneness, union.” So we know that living in relation to God and having a relationship with him is like being in communion with Him in oneness; being with Him, together.
But, how do we have this communion with God? For some of us this might seem foreign to have a relationship with someone we can’t physically touch or see as another person in front of us. It might even feel uncomfortable to think about praying to God or talking to what feels like ourselves sometimes. Maybe spending time with God outside of Mass is a foreign thought to you. That’s ok, it is never too late to begin again!
Deepen your relationship with God with these 3 steps:
Step 1: SEEK
How can we know someone we aren’t chasing after? When you meet the love of your life you want to know every bit of that person because you are madly in love and desire all of them. You have to seek them out, spend time with them, get to know their favorite color, favorite foods, what drives them, what disappoints them.
Is it playing games, connecting with family, a dream they have of becoming a musician. What is it? We ask these questions to get to know people. We discover who they are by seeking them out and spending time with them. This is authentic communion. It is reciprocal (think of the figure eight), you are giving into the relationship and naturally there is something coming back to you; there is a natural flow, a natural connection.
How do we seek?
We knock. We ask. We look. We visit. We open. When we seek someone out we have to take that vulnerable step forward, one that requires intention and sometimes a risk. We don’t just want to know about God, we want to be with God in union, communion, and togetherness.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
The title on the USCCB page is literally “Answer to prayers.” When we ask it will be given, when we seek we will find. When we knock the door will be opened.
Profound. Simple. Bold.
The answer is right here. We must seek Him first. We have to show up, open ourselves up (at least a little!) in order to build any relationships in our lives.
It doesn’t just happen. Intimacy with another doesn’t just pop up out of thin air. It is a unique reciprocation of two persons in communion.
The ABundant catholic
But God doesn’t just want part of us, He wants all of us! He literally wants to be with you forever as He made you and knows you, and loves you!
Step 2: KNOW
Do you know God? Or do you know your favorite music band? Do you know God, or do you know your husband? Do you know God or do you know your car, your job, your favorite TV series, your iphone… whatever it may be…
The real question here is who are you living for? And for what purpose?
So if we want to know God, we know we have to seek Him, and we have to get to know Him. How can we be in a relationship with someone we don’t really know nor have spent quality time with, or worked to gain a better understanding of?
Think of it, when you go to see a new movie- you’ll often watch the trailer to the movie. Have you ever seen the trailer for God? It would likely be the Mass, reading the Bible (Sacred Scripture), reading the Catechism, whatever it may be… it would be a way to get to know God and better understand His nature. That He is 3 persons in One God. That He is Pure Spirit, He is Eternal, He is the Alpha and Omega- the Beginning and End.
Knowing Yourself Too
But with knowing him, we have to be willing to know ourselves too. That’s a key component here. If we don’t even know who we are, then how can we get to know someone else? We must know who we are. What is your purpose? Where is your identity rooted in? What is your identity rooted in? Better yet, Who is your identity rooted in?
Is it in what you do for a living? In your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend? In your vocation as a mother, your spousalhood, being the favorite aunt or uncle in the family? Those are all good things, as they are critical parts of our identity, but our identity should always be rooted in God first, as made in His image- a unique, unrepeatable, irreplaceable person never to be recreated ever again.
Simply put:
we are created for a purpose- a purpose that no one can fill but you.
the abundant catholic
Enter the Mystery of Wonder
Another aspect of knowing ourselves is knowing what drives us? What brings us joy? What do we love? What are we drawn to? These are all questions to ask yourself in reflection of knowing God because He is the God of your desires. If they are rightly ordered- they are meant to lead us to Him- a meeting place of sorts, to discover Him. It’s His connecting point with us.
Press into that… dig your heels in… ask yourself:
- What do I love to do? Why?
- What are you fascinated with?
- Do you like wildflowers, the season of autumn, the smell of coffee, collectible toy cars, [fill in the blank]?
- What music do you like?
- What drives you?
- What can’t you get enough of?
Enter into the mystery of your wonder, and there.. right there.. is a meeting point with your Maker!
One of a Kind
Our relationship with him is one of a kind, this is what makes it intimate. The way God communicates with you will be unique to you and how you process the world around you. The way He shows up in your life isn’t necessarily how He is going to show in someone else’s. Keep this in mind. We are unique and so is our relationship with God.
“I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They shall be my people and I will be their God, for they shall return to me with their whole heart.” -Jeremiah 24:7
Step 3: OBEY
Obedience. The word is derived from the latin word obedire (ob-ed-eeray) which means to “listen.” We have to hear God to obey Him. Which goes back to being in relationship with Him and knowing Him. We can’t hear someone we aren’t in conversation with.
We obey not because we have to but because we ought to.
It is a privilege to know God and love him. He is unlike any other God. His love frees us, redeems us, heals us, renews us, and restores us. We are being made more and more into His likeness and image. He never stops loving us. He always has more for us!
"To obey (from the Latin ob-audire, to "hear or listen to") in faith is to submit freely to the word that has been heard, because its truth is guaranteed by God, who is Truth itself. Abraham is the model of such obedience offered us by Sacred Scripture. The Virgin Mary is its most perfect embodiment." CCC 144
Obedience is not a form of punishment, it is a path to freedom. St. Basil states: “If we turn away from evil out of fear of punishment, we are in the position of slaves. If we pursue the enticement of wages, … we resemble mercenaries. Finally if we obey for the sake of the good itself and out of love for him who commands … we are in the position of children” -Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) 1828
Become like Children
God is a good Father. He gives us guidelines, moral laws, and objective truths to live by. These are for our own protection and preservation- and for our own freedom, so they we may live! God’s laws are not meant to enslave us or restrict us, they are meant to unbind us and set us free, helping us more fully become who He made us to be!
“Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” -Matthew 18:3
The point is that we become dependent on someone other than ourselves, right? That we turn away from pride, which is the root of all evil.
Final Recap on Having a Real Relationship with God
- SEEK Him
- KNOW Him (and yourself)
- OBEY Him
We want to seek Him, we want to ask about Him, get to know Him, find out more, delve in- spend time with and invest your life in God; the God who made you and loves you and longs to fulfill you!
We know Him by coming to know ourselves, what drives us, what do we long for?
Open that ache to Him and there you will find a deep well within you, one that Christ is asking for a drink from. He wants to be in union with you- talk to Him like He’s your friend, your father, your brother, your everything. Good and bad.
Prayer is more than kneeling with your hands folded in Church on Sunday. It is an open dialogue, it’s a battle cry from the heart, it’s the daily tasks and duties, it’s our life’s work.
We should be striving to glorify God in all we do, not just some of what we do.
“You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” -Matthew 22:37
Bonus Step!
Step 4: PRAY
A great way to begin having a real relationship with God is through daily prayer:
- Talk to God- in your heart, outloud (that’s not weird), by singing, by playing music, when you go for a walk, write in your journal to God.
- Go to Eucharistic adoration. Pray the rosary, pray a novena, anything- just start!
- Get a daily prayer guide- the Magnificat or the Laudate app are great tools. There are tons of amazing prayer apps and programs out there!
- Enter into the mystery of your wonder and invite God in (just wait and see what happens!).
- Read a good book on the interior life.
Listen to the Podcast for 3 BOOK Recommendations on Intimacy with God!
You will never be sorry when you pray.
Prayer will bear fruit. Oftentimes, it is over time and the fruit it produces might look like more wonder, awe, contentment, peace, joy, satisfaction, thankfulness, feelings of security, and maybe even a change of heart or breaking down of barriers.
Prayer fosters growth- often something new sprouts- a deeper knowing of who you are, who God is, your purpose, and a deeper understandings of the mysteries we are all invited into!
SEEK, KNOW, OBEY, AND PRAY!
This is intimacy with God.
Let him see inside of you—”in-to-me-see.” You won’t regret it!
Reclaim & restore who you are made to be!
Looking for someone to walk with you on the journey to freedom?
We can help! Our coaching and mentorship programs offer accompaniment in the journey to a total, fruitful, faithful, & free marriage! Whether it’s just one of you or both of you- we are here to listen, be attentive, and make a plan with you to facilitate a deepening of faith and healing through Christ so that you can live the abundant life you are made for!
